Although I have never read it, the first thing that came to my mind was Kat Von D’s book, High Voltage Tattoo. I’m sure those from another generation, specifically and older generation, would not see the beauty, originality, or meaning behind tattoos. I don’t think any of them would agree with it either. I know my grandmother would not see the reasoning behind marking up your body with a bunch of pictures.
I don’t really know how people of her generation expressed themselves like people do today. Expressionism in her time wasn’t as accepted as it is today, as now a cardboard box can be considered art. I think the first thing I would have to do is explain that even though the tattoos may look like just a picture to an outsider, that symbol may have a significant meaning to the person wearing the tattoo. Having it then tattooed on their body is a way in which it will always be close to them or a part of them. It isn’t like having it printed on a piece of paper, or made into some type of statue. It is an expression of who they are as a person. Something completely different than anyone else.
Kat Von D may be an extreme case of individual expression, and I'm sure some of those tattoos can actually be taken at face value, but I don’t have to let my grandma know that.
- Mood:
rushed
“What?” is all I could come up with. It seemed like the only logical response at the time. “What do you mean she has cancer? What kind? How bad is it? Where is it? Was she going to tell us about this?”
“She doesn’t know what kind it is. She just found out. I don’t think it’s too serious.” He responds nonchalantly as he leans against the wall. In the movies this is where the parent figure walks over to the child and puts their arm them, reassuring them that medical advances have come a long way and that we’ll get through this as a family. “Don’t tell her I told you. I don’t think I was supposed to” was resonating in my head. How am I supposed to keep this to myself? I don’t know if I should be pissed or scared, so I choose option C. I’m both. But I don’t know who I’m pissed at or if I’m scared for myself or my mom.
“I have to tell you something” she says as we’re driving back from yoga. “I have cancer.”
“I know” I reply. Why did that come out sounding like I was mad? Am I?
“How do you know?”
“Uncle Terry told me a few weeks ago” I say, staring ahead so I don’t have to look at her.
“God dammit I told him not to say anything until I found out more information about it” She responds. Not quite the tone I had expected when I pictured this moment, but I guess it’s better than her crying. I can watch anyone cry and hold my composure, but when it’s my mom, there’s no stopping me. It’s like my foundation is crumbling and there’s nothing to hold my wall up.
“Well, he did.”
“It’s called lobular. It’s a rare form of breast cancer that is found usually in older women. It’s not picked up on mammograms so when they finally find it, it’s usually deadly. They say it’s a miracle I found it herself after our Dr. Burick told me it was probably nothing and not to worry about it. It doesn’t look like a normal tumor either. If you crack and egg and look at the shape of it, it doesn’t really have a shape or defined edges. It also has tentacles. So there’s really not a good way to measure it, and that makes it harder to stage in diagnosis.”
“Oh,” I respond.
“We weren’t able to process your FAFSA because your mom forgot to sign the bottom of her tax return. You aren’t getting any financial aid this year, and you still owe over eight thousand for the semester.” Says the lady in the Student Service office as she mechanically flips through papers without the courtesy of even looking at my mom and I as she’s telling us this. “We sent you numerous notices throughout the summer that you either ignored or decided not to respond to.”
“I remember getting one envelope this whole summer that says my mom needs to sign a paper. Nothing was specified as to what paper needed to be signed or the fact that my papers wouldn’t go through.”
“Well, that isn’t really my fault.”
“Well coming down to Walsh wasn’t really the top on my to do list when my mom gets diagnosed with cancer” I say.
“Is there anything we can do to pay this?” asks my mom. This being the first thing she says since we got here.
“You can file a special circumstance paper and try to get more aid. It’s for parents who lost a job, or incur unforeseen medical circumstances, things like that” she responds. “However, we have to have all of your receipts and paperwork from the hospital before you can apply for it.”
“Well I lost my job in January. Can I file one for my job now so we can get some type of help now, then file another one once all my treatments and surgeries are done?”
“Um, no. That would be too much paperwork for us. You can include both of those circumstances on one application at a later date.” I feel like I’m on a Mastercard commercial. Chemo treatments, four thousand a piece. Surgery, thrity-five hundred. Doctor visits, six thousand. Being fucked by Walsh, priceless.
“So in January after hopefully her last surgery, I can finally fill out this application which will take a few weeks to process, when I then will be only considered for some type of aid.” Did I mention I graduate in May?
“Correct.”
“Is there a reason we can’t apply now? I mean, how much help am I going to get with 3 months of school left?
“Well we need all the receipts because we want to make sure she actually had these surgeries and received this medication and she didn’t make it up so you could get more money.” Is this lady serious? It’s at this time I look down at my mom and see her trying not to cry. I can’t believe how cold this lady is when we’re talking about my mom having cancer here.
“Yeah, I can see how that’s a growing problem on our campus. Well, be sure that all the players on our academically excelling football team get their full ‘academic scholarships’ this year.”
Oct. 2, 2009
Hello to my friends and family,
Last day of chemo was today. It went well. I'm glad it the last one. I'm starting to get tired
I'm still going to the gym and mass in the mornings. I'm feeling okay. The kids,Jim and I went to wedding on Saturday. That was a lot of fun. Other than my limbs are numb and the shingles I am really feeling pretty good. I have Dr appts on the 5,7,8,tests 13, 15 and I think surgery is on the 26.
Thanks to all of you who came to the chemo parties with food (you all have kept me well fed.) All of the cards, prayers, gifts and words of encouragement. And being my ears at the doc appts I am so thankful for all of you. I'll see some of u at the walk on the ninth. Thanks also for the donations. I'll get the thank you's out soon
Life is still wonderful and I pray for all of u daily
Love,Teresa
Oct. 12, 2009
Dear Family and Friends,
Words cannot express how moved I was on saturday to see many of you.
I am so grateful for all of the support and donation that were made to "Teresa's Team". I thank the ones who gave who don't know me. It was a great turn out and the weather couldn't have been better
All of u have gone out of your way to help me get through one of my most difficult times in my life. I just don't know what to say. You all have put your own personal problems aside to help me one way or the other
Sometime ago Bud, a friend of mine said to me" Everyone likes you Teresa. Everyone loves you". Of course I rolled my eyes. He was right. I can't believe how many people do love and care about me. My gym friends who help me get through my workout and friends at work who pickup the slack when I don't feel well and my long time buddies and my new buddies.
A lot is going on for me tomorrow. Tests in the morning and then the surgery in the afternoon. I am sure that everything will be fine. I'm not worried but I will go to mass in the morning
Have a great day. Life really couldn't be better for me these days.
Love and prayers
Teresa
Oct. 14, 2009
Good morning To All,
Hope all is well with everyone. I'm feeling quite well this morning. Cold and dreary outside but its okay
Janet met me at the hospital yesterday. Of course she was on time and I was late. I just can't seem to get to those appts on time. I had my tests yesterday morning and it seems that the mammo only shows residuals, the ultra sound didn't showing anything and I really didn't here about the mri. Melinda, who I got to be friends with at the hosp and also did the mri, told me that the "girls looked pretty". I see the surgeon tomorrow. She will give me all of the results. I sure it will be fine.
Janet then drove me to city hosp for the surgery. Michelle met us over there for support for me and to entertain us. It wasn't bad at all, there was an hour delay but it went quick. A lot of laughs and texting going on. (I'm cracking up as I type this) after all of the stuff we went through she couldn't do the surgery. Once the doctor got in there she saw other problems. I will spare the gory details LOL She did do a biopsy and I'll see her next week
Life is still great. I have the cream of the crop for friends and family. Have a great day!!
Teresa
Oct. 20, 2009
Good day everyone
I just received a phone call from Dr Pedersen. All of the prayers are working thanks to all of you
I don't have cervical cancer. So the hyster is a go from her standpoint. I will need to go on blood thinners to prevent clots. I will be out along time and that doesn't include the breast surgery.
I love you all. Thank you so much !!!!!!
Teresa
Oct. 22, 2009
Hello everyone,
I hope this note finds everyone well
Surgery is a go for 11-2 at noon. Check in time is 8:45 Janet will make sure that I am there on time. Along with Jim and Kay. Mom and dad will be there too.
I met with Dr Kovechic (sp) He has cancelled his afternoon appts to do this. He isn't sure how he will do this hyster until he starts his thing. I have other issues so I might be gutted like a pig or it might be laporscopic (sp). Then dr sprance will come in to do her thing.
They are looking at about 5 hours in surgery. I don't think so.
I'm sure that they say the longest duration just so they have time to look for the missing sponge or scapal.
This is second phase of my treatment.
I feel great life is good and I just know that Tim also has something to do with my healing.
Thank you for all of your help and prayers. I love you all
Teresa
Nov. 10, 2009
Hello Friends and Family,
Its hard being off of work and its even harder to be compliant.
I'm well taken care and under the watchful eye of Janet's mother, Mrs Miller.
Dr Sprance has penciled me in for my next surgery nov 16. Check in time is 6am and the surgery is at 8am. This one should only take an hour. She is calling this"clean up" work. To me it reminds me of cleaning out a pumpkin.
The lympnodes are being left alone. I asked Dr Sprance's office abouy the nodes. It appears the oncologist is okay with what Sprance took
The next doc who gets to tatoo me is the radiologist or his people. I want my tatoo to be an original. Maybe something like my LPN friend Pam whos tatoo has a story behind it !! Lol
Well life is still good. No, it could be a little better. I'm sure u guys r getting tired of reading these. Only 7 more weeks of this lol. :-D. Its all good. Couldn't be better and u all are terrific. Love u all
Teresa
Nov. 21, 2009
Hey Everyone,
Janet went with me to talk to Sprance yesterday. The surgery is on hold and I will be making a trip to the cleveland clinic thanks to Lou Ann
I should be hearing from Lou on Monday with an appointment time. Dr Crowe is the best and I have heard other women having him as there doctor and they are here to talk about it.
We did talk about a mastectomy and then I wouldn't need radiation vs cleaning more out and having to wait. I prefer the mastectomy. I don't want radiation When she takes tissue out it goes to the lab and the tissue has to grow for so many days. It would be nice if it could be tested right away but this is the problem with this type of cancer. It leaves residuals
It was a nice day. I hope all of you have a great weekend
Love and prayers to all of you
Teresa
Nov. 30, 2009
Hello Everyone,
I hope everyone had a nice weekend and Thanksgiving.
Mine was nice too. Family and friends.
I had made my decision about another partial masteftomy vs a complete
removal of just the right breast and going to the cleveland clinic.
I have done a lot of praying about this and for me the best way to go
is with a mastectomy no radiation where the breast was but maybe radiation on my
lympnode
I talked with Dr crows office last wednesday. The soonest appt is the 17 of december. His office also said a mastectomy would be the route to go. In some way I feel I did get my answer.
I see Sprance 11:30, Hazra at 12;00 and Demas at 1:30. All appts are tomorrow
I'm getting tired, scared again and having pain. I want this over.I know everyone has mybest interest at heart. And of course I am so thankful for everyones help
I will find out more tomorrow after I see the Docs
Love and Prayers
Teresa
Dec. 2, 2009
Hey Guys,
Hope all is well with all of you. Wasn't it a pretty day today? I think it will be nice tomorrow.
It was a day for doctors. Sprance, Hazra and Demas. I should test your memory. Who's these Doc's? So far I have had 6. In a couple of weeks I will be adding another doctor. LOL.
Mastectomy on Monday. It will be out patient. I have decided not to have reconstruction right away. We all know now that the tissue cannot be checked while I'm under. It takes a few days for this tissue to grow or whatever their clinical term is. It is done in the lab at barberton. All labs test for lobular ca this way. I see Sprance then on the 10 for results. Hopefully it will all be good. But it looks like I will need radiation after that because of the size of the tumor. 5mm plus they do radiation. Mine came in at 4.5 according to the MRI which is not 100 percent accurate. Mine is questionable. Because of my age Hazra says yes. Demas is leaning to yes and Srance says if she finds tumors.
I talked with cleveland clinic. I got the same answer too
I'm tired and depressed. Yes I have said the "D" word. I am texting threw tears sitting in my car at 11:00 PM. I'm not as strong as you think. I'm going in the house take my medicine and going to sleep. ( I just did not want radiation. :(
Everything will look better in the morning. Life is still good. Maybe just not at this moment
Love you all. Good night
Teresa
“Did you get my last email?” she asks as we’re sitting in mass waiting for the service to start. Tears well up in her eyes.
“I did” I reply as I grab her hand. She begins to cry. Her wig is shifted to the left and I see the peach fuzz she’s so proud of finally growing in. The homily is long and I’m thankful that Fr. Chris talks about alcohol. Although today is the first time my mom has ever seen Fr. Chris, he has offered a couple masses in her name, and prayers for her by name during the petitions. It blows my mind that all these people who don’t even know my mom have held her so close to their hearts.
After mass she is finally introduced to Fr. Chris and my eyes fill with tears looking at her. It has taken the cancer eight months to finally make itself known on her face. Every day she tells me another eye lash has fallen out. Today she tells me she is in pain and I see the rest of her eyebrows have fallen out. After Fr. Chris tells her everyone will continue to pray for her we make our way to the car and head somewhere for lunch.
“Are you done with classes today?”
“No” I respond. “I have tutoring and a class at one fifty. I canceled my twelve-thirty tutoring though so we could go to lunch.”
“Do you have a lot of work to do today?”
“Yeah. I’m still making up work from missing class from the surgeries and doing stuff for my finals.”
“We don’t have to go to lunch. I feel bad you have to make up so much work because of me. Your studies should come first.”
“It’s not a big deal. I can get it all done. I don’t really care either. I don’t think any of my professors mind anyway. Unlike student services, they know I’m not making this up so I can get out of class. No worries” I smile at her. But I know she feels responsible with the tuition situation and my pile-up of work.
“I’m having surgery on Monday” she says reluctantly as she tries to merge lanes. In my head I do the math. No Dayton this weekend. Research for Cindy Saturday. Finish taking pictures for Ron Sunday afternoon then write responses. Come home Sunday night. Hospital at seven Monday morning. Business report doesn’t require the internet, do that in waiting room. Come back Monday night? If I’m lucky. Come back Tuesday morning. Work on Cindy paper all day. Work on Cindy paper all day Wednesday. Survive until at least Thursday at noon. Thinking about all of this stresses me out. But I don’t want her to know that.
Smiling, I unbuckle my seatbelt and open the door to get out of the car, “I’ll be there” I say as I step over a puddle.
“Didn’t you have to tutor at one?” she asks as we make our way back to Walsh.
“I don’t want you missing more school. You have too much work to catch up on.”
“Eh, it’s whatev’” I reply. My heart beat quickens just thinking about everything due in the next week and how going to the hospital will result in no homework getting done even if I tried.
Looking at me with her wind-blown wig she blinks her naked eyelids. “Thanks baby, I’ll pray for you. Love you” she says as I lean over to give her a kiss. I still find it crazy she’s praying for others before herself.
“Love you too. And don’t worry about me. Honestly, I don’t even care about school right now. It’s not really that important. I’ll find time to finish it.” Research and papers and professors run through my head as I force a smile. “I’ll be home Sunday night. Thank for lunch little baldy.” She smiles and blows me a kiss.
I close the door I leave my thoughts on the floor of the car where they bleed together with the papers on the soggy mat. Tears form in the corner of my eyes as I look at my reflection in the door of the Barrette Center. I see the window of my mom’s car roll down as I reach for the handle. She is doing her goofy wave and smiling. I breathe in deep and forces the tears back into my eyes. It’s hard for me to not cry every time I have to leave her. I hate being so far away from her and feeling helpless. I could never tell her that though. I don’t want her to think her foundation is crumbling.
Walking into the classroom I hear people talking. I set my book bag down and take off my coat. “Sorry I’m late, Ron. I went to church and lunch with my mom.”
“You didn’t have to come back,” he says, “I would have rather you stayed with her.”
Me too, I think to myself. Seconds later my phone vibrates. “Have a wonderful day pumpkin head :),” I read as I hear Ron’s voice.
“As Dr. Snyder is texting the connections she has made this semester to someone.”
I press end and don’t send a reply. “Sorry. It was my mom.” I already wish I was back with her.
- Mood:productive
- Music:The Fray
This brainwashed me into thinking that journaling was a complete free write with no direction other than maybe a prompt that was something along the lines of, “Describe how this makes you feel,” or something that a teacher wanted to make us think deeply about. There was this taboo put on journaling that I should write freely and from my heart because no one would read what I wrote and judge me. Many teachers associated journaling with writing in a diary, as opposed to using journaling as a way of writing freely, yet still a way for students to practice their writing.
I think of journaling now as a way of practicing my writing skills and ability to put my thoughts into a coherent (and sometimes not) work without the stress of it being a formal paper. I like having my journals on a weblog because it opens to the idea of having someone read and critique my writing for its content, not necessarily the grammar. This allows me to free write, yet in the back of my mind know that there is an order to my journal.
This leads me to the next realization I have made about journaling. The idea of a journal being a critique is also something I hadn’t put together before. Critically critiquing someone else’s work is something I had never done before and have found that it is something I enjoy. It allowed me to look deeper into the music I listened to, and really pay attention to why I liked the music I do.
I also realized how much easier it is for me to journal on topics I enjoy. Journals that had a focus on anything creative, liberal, or theological were topics I found myself not having a problem writing. I had never previously written or discussed anything about theology, and have found that I like writing and talking about it.
I guess the idea of journaling being something private and “for my eyes only” is an idea that has been closed. I think the idea of writing with the notion that no one will read it is counterproductive. Don’t we write so that our ideas are put out there? It almost seems like it’s something we should be ashamed of, or make us think that we can only write completely freely if we know someone isn’t going to read it and judge us. I enjoyed having my thoughts put out there so that someone may read it and give me their comments on it. I think changing my idea of journaling has made me a better writer because of the input I have received.
- Mood:
stressed - Music:FM Static
I always said I was a Catholic and I believed in God, but I never wanted to go to Church or actually pay attention in Mass, but I still considered myself a “good Catholic.” I went through a period after my dad died that I wanted someone to blame. I blamed him, his doctor … and that was pretty much it actually. I wanted to bad to blame God, because I know that would be the easiest thing to do, because God wasn’t able to defend himself to me. I could blame him all I wanted and my hate and pain could just grow and grow because He wasn’t there to tell me otherwise. But for some reason, I knew he was the one person I couldn’t blame. I didn’t turn to him necessarily, but I knew I couldn’t blame him. Because I knew he was the one person I could never actually blame for it.
After that though, I just didn’t really have a connection with him. I didn't go to Mass even when my mom would ask if I would like to join her. I became one of those twice a year church-goers, only showing up on Easter and Christmas Eve. And then last year it was only Christmas. I would feel my faith would be strengthened when I would come back from a retreat and I would be on a “retreat high,” but then that would fade and I would go back to my normal ways.
I don’t know what it was this year or why or what was the turning point, it may have been my mom’s cancer, but something in me told me that I wanted something I could turn to and something to believe in. I think it may have been when Campus Ministry heard through Mary Ann in the cafeteria that my mom had cancer and they offered to have a Mass said for her. I had met Fr. Chris before but it was more like I always said hi because he was a priest and you don’t just ignore a priest. After I had seen how much these people, who didn’t even know my mom, were truly praying for her, I knew that I wanted to get back into my faith.
This form of my spirituality is very personal though. It’s between me and God, not the people I am with and not with the people who are also in Mass with me. I would personally rather go to Church alone and don’t like sitting around people I know. I have found with some people that who can “close their eyes the most in mass,” and “who can pray the longest” is a competition to see who is the most religious. The only person I really enjoy going to Church with is my mom, and that’s because she also is focused on her reason for being there and not what I’m doing. She only acknowledges me during the sign of peace or if one of us is putting up or down the kneeler. Now my faith is something that is extremely important in my life. I think everything I have gone through in these past few years has formed me into the spiritual person I want to be.
- Music:30 Seconds to Mars
I knew some songs off the top of my head I knew met this criteria. However, I started at the top of my iTunes and scrolled down through songs until I found one I wanted to use. I would listen to the song once, and one of two things happened: I would both listen to the song the whole way through and decide if this was one of those songs, or I would start a song and if I immediately started writing I knew it was one of those songs. If I listened to the whole song, it usually ended up not being one of them. This actually made me realize what songs I would consider good songs, and what songs I consider to be great songs. And I think that is important because there aren’t a lot of really great songs out there.
If it was a song that I immediately started writing, I would write my review as I listened. Sometimes I wouldn’t be able to get out in words what I thought was so moving about the song so I wouldn’t force it. I would just sit back and let myself enjoy the song for what it was. After that, I would play the song again and listen with a more critical ear rather than listening for pure enjoyment. This helped me appreciate what I was listening to because I could feel the tempo changes, and recognize the progressions and chord changes, and hear instruments that are not in the forefront of a song but definitely necessary in the song.
Since I didn’t focus on just one song, my review didn’t really follow the plot or theme of any one song. However, each song itself tells a story is a journey that sometimes speaks of a revelation at the end. I think I learned how to listen to a song critically, because doing a review on a song is something I’ve never done before. I know it makes me sound like a big loser, but I was actually wondering how it would feel to be a critic in Rolling Stones. I always read the reviews but never really took anything from it because I always thought reviews were like, “Yeah I like it, you should go out and buy it for this reason,” or “This album is a joke compared to their sophomore album” and stuff like that. But I really enjoyed listening to the song for a purpose as opposed to just listening for entertainment.
- Music:Into the Mystic
There isn’t just one song that has this kind of impact on me. There are very few that can move me like this, and they’re mostly from different artists. Although, there are one or two bands that I can say have a few songs that move me this way. Most of the songs are slower, not necessarily ballads, but have strong instrumental influences and a singer that is able to sing, yet also has a powerful enough voice to push past the typical idea of a pretty voice to something more raw and real. I’m such a music nerd.
The band Anberlin is from the UK and only recently has become popular in the states. The bad thing about this band is that they are becoming mainstream, and they have lost their attraction that once had as an underground band. One of their songs, “Symphony of Blasse’” is one of those headphone songs. The lead singer’s voice is so distinctive, and I think that is one of the reasons I am so drawn to the band. This song has a progressive beat that mirrors the lyrics incredibly well.
When going through all my songs from the band Angels and Airwaves, I don’t think there is one song that I could choose that moves me the most. Again, this singer, Tom Delong, who was in Blink 182, has a voice beyond everything. Paired with his lyrics which are very raw and spiritual, it’s one of the only bands I can put on and listen to all their albums without changing a song. What I like about this band is that whenever Tom sings and a note is held out, the band takes advantage of that and showcases their ability as musicians as well with their instruments.
Another band that also has this effect on me is Augustana. The song “Sweet and Low” has a verse towards the end of the song that cannot be truly appreciated unless heard through headphones. The buildup and anticipation of the lyrics and the drum solo is something right now I wish I was listening to through headphones instead of my computer. There is more I could say about this, but I have to get through all my most important songs.
“Stay Together For The Kids” by Blink 182 may be the best example of a headphone song. The combination of tempo changes, instrumental interludes, solos both vocally and instrumentally, the voices of the singers, the message of the lyrics … it’s hard to put into words of the impact of this song. So I’ll leave it at that. And that you should listen to it without headphones then with.
I think that just the lyrics of Goo Goo Doll’s song “Iris” makes it an amazing song that can make anyone stop in their tracks and listen to it. Most songs only have a verse or maybe the refrain that people can quote because the impact it has, but this song is different. It’s the refrain and every verse that is so intense that you can’t pick out one that defines the song.
Jack’s Mannequin’s song “Swim” is another song that takes lyrics to a whole other level. I think the reason I enjoy this song to much is his use of words. He equates swimming and aspects of water with merely surviving. I guess it’s the English major in me, but I think this is the best use of metaphors in a song. He was also a cancer survivor, so his messages are usually about more than bitches and money, which I always think makes for good music. The instrumental aspect of this song is also amazing as well as his voice.
The lead singer of Motion City Soundtrack also has one of those voices I was talking about. This band is one of those bands I can start and play through all their albums without stopping. The reward for doing this is the last song on their newest album called “Even If It Kills Me.” In my car, this is the first song I always play and the one I tend to end with. Like Angels and Airwaves, it’s the insane combination of his voice, instruments, and lyrics that make this song what it is. It seems to be that the more impact the song has on me, the hardest it is for me to explain it.
Muse is another band from the UK that many people don’t listen to. Their song “Starlight” is the song I can never get enough of because of everything I’ve mentioned about most of the other songs. This song has a harder beat to it, yet it’s paired with a softer message. It’s different than all the other songs and is insanely good. Listening it to it now I’m at a loss for words. I hope you’re taking note of all these songs you probably won’t like but should listen to haha.
The lead singer of Jack’s Mannequin was also the lead singer of Something Corporate before the broke up. He was younger then, and like all musicians, grew and became better with time. However, even in his younger years, his message and ability was that beyond most performers of his time and really knew how to use words to get a certain message across. He is also a crazy piano player and I think that adds immensely to the quality of his songs.
Thriving Ivory is also a band that was once underground and now mainstream. However, their song “Angels on the Moon” is one of those headphone songs. His voice and lyrics like, “I need a sunburn, just to know that I’m alive,” make this song crazy good beyond words. I don’t even know what else to say about this song. I don’t think that makes me a very good reviewer.
The last song I’m going to add to my list is “Earthquake” by The Used. This song carries a quick guitar through the verses that creates a different mood from the refrain which uses a hard drum that creates a different feel. The violins in the song also add to the depth of the instrumental aspect of the song that blows me away. The lead singer is known for his louder, scream type voice, but this song showcases his ability vocally as well as the raw emotion he is known for. The lyrics are also amazing and this one of those songs that’s just hard to explain.
- Music:Everything
I think Soonseeahray’s death is a typical Hollywood death. Hollywood seems to glamorize death and dumb it down to being a band-aid on any problem. It always brings feuding families together – pan away to estranged father with his arm around daughter – or the understanding sigh of an old person quietly passing away after their battle with Alzheimer’s. No mind all the work and distress for the family after the person so peacefully slips into their eternal rest. That’s not really a big deal, because who really wants to watch a movie where the widow has to call the funeral home, make plans for a cremation, break the news to all the family members. We would rather stop the death scene on a happy note so we don’t have to feel the uncomfortability (I know it’s not a word but I think it should be) about the reality of death.
I like to think of Brave New World when I think about death. Not that I agree with it, but just the way they handle death. It’s just kind of a matter-of-fact type thing. They don’t glorify it, or dwell on it. They just accept it for what it is.
I do think though, that death is a time that brings families together. Just a shame that this is the only reason they’re together. Hollywood’s play on this is that all the “family-distance” problems are then solved in a pale yellow light with soft music. However, anytime someone in my family has died and it brings distant relatives together, it takes longer than those first few moments for everyone to be able to talk about the deceased with a smile. I think this also shows Hollywood’s uncomfortability (yep, there it is again) with death, and there cleverness to know that people want to see the yellow light and hear the music. I don’t know whether to applaud or shake my head.
- Mood:
confused - Music:Whatever the guy next to me is listening to
I don’t want to say I would agree that The Daily Show is the most trusted provider of news in the United states, but just like any comedian, they tell the truth no matter how stupid or funny it may seem. You can trust that a comedian is going to say something crude about a public figure, even if it does cross the line, if it’s true. I think in that sense that John Stewart can be seen as a trusted provider of news. He doesn’t censor himself or limit his reports, but, because he is seen as a type of comedian, can get away with it.
I humor that is ironic in some way. As dirty and ridiculous as Dane Cook is, I still think he is hilarious. There is a teenage comedian who started out on YouTube named Bo Burnham that I think is the funniest guy ever. He isn’t stupid humor, or just use women and sex and beer to be funny, and he doesn’t use physical violence to be funny. He uses words and irony to make fun of situations and all different types of people. I guess because I’m an English major I think the use of words is fascinating. He’s different than Dane Cook because I don’t think Dane Cook is as smart as Bo, but the fact this kid can think of all these lyrics blows my mind.
I think that all these comedians that I like cross the “comfortability” border, as well as walking on the line of, “should he really have said that?” Bo makes fun of all different types of ethnicities and backgrounds and doesn’t limit himself when talking about those who are handicapped. The things both comedians say are funny because a lot of the time there’s so much truth in them that no one wants to point it out because it may embarrass someone, yet these comedians are brave enough to use it in their skits. I think making fun of reality is the funniest.
- Mood:
blah - Music:Jack's Mannequin
I honestly don’t know how these mythical figures form into the history of the European colonization of America. The only thing I can connect with is maybe the story telling aspect, the lack of respect for elders, maybe a realization of self? Did we even talk about that though?
To me placing the Mad Hatter in the story was like trying to have the characters deal with their own personal problems, or problems in their world, while dealing with this other figure who doesn’t seem to really fit into the story, yet poses a disturbance or another layer or problems the characters must deal with as well.
I guess that’s how I viewed King Death as well. The narrator and Leonard had the problem of dealing with cleaning up their house and getting it ready to sell, then this man who at first seemed like just a problem in their world, became someone who was then given a mythical name and a somewhat elevated status. He is now on the same level as the Mad Hatter because, like Leonard said, it was like he was being haunted by a piece of the past that never happened. His essence went from the physical to the metaphysical, and now no longer just a problem on the first level, but just as the Mad Hatter not physically taking a role in the story much, yet his presence still adding to the layer of problems for the narrator (his violence, rage, threats). Now does the bum become more than a person when dubbed with the name King Death.
These figures are there though for the characters to learn something about themselves or some important lesson that could not just be told to them straight forward, but learned through some kind of message.
- Mood:
stressed - Music:The Cure
First reaction: 11 tweet updates while I scrolled down to the bottom of the page and back up.
Total elapsed time: 30 seconds.
I chose to look at a thread that was in the most popular threads for the week. I figured since it was obviously one that people are talking on, it would probably be a good one to look at. It’s a thread called, “#beatcancer,” although I’m not really sure what the number sign is for. Since my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and it’s breast cancer month, I found this topic to be of interest to me. The first few posts I saw didn’t really have a common theme ironically. Everyone just kind of puts whatever they’re thinking, not necessarily responding to other’s posts. This is the opposite of what I usually see on comments on online newspapers or articles. Everyone there usually comments on someone’s article, or another person’s post. However, there are always those random people whose comment has absolutely nothing to do with previous posts or the article.
Aside from tweets about breast cancer, I have found a lot of “RIP Kanye West Balloon Boy” …? whatever that means. I’ve also found that it’s hard to read with all the … html text? Whatever it is with all the numbers and symbols. I wonder if that has something to do with the number sign in the title …
Alright, found a conversation on breast cancer now as opposed to the beatcancer. This one doesn’t have as many number-symbol-nonsense posts, but again, no one is really commenting on anyone elses posts. It also seems like many people are using this as a bulletin board; putting up their links to other sites and articles without saying anything. I guess when you’re only allowed something like 130 characters you can’t really say all too much.
I must say, my favorite post so far is from a man named BarberBruce and his post that said, “I have to say, I am LOVING my Breast Cancer Awareness Pink Snuggie and Itty Bitty Book Light. Walgreens $14.99” I know if I got a pink snuggie and tiny book light for the super low price of $14.99 I would be excited too.
There are some posts that I do find interesting though. One of them said how a basketball team is taking action against breast cancer and has a link on the post that leads to the Winnipeg Sun website, a Vancouver newspaper. The article the post is linked to talks about the Manitoba Bison’s women’s basketball team.
Sidenote: From that newspaper, I found a n article about best car commercials, and the new Honda one is pretty bomb http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kh97oYCJ-O
Anyway, the posts on this page range from early detection, treatments, hope, fundraisers, and things of that nature. I will see how many thousand posts I miss when I look at it later today.
Yep, thousands. Who would have thought? Most of the posts seem to be along the same lines they were before. No one is really commenting on other’s threads, just kind of putting their own information out there to get their voice heard. Although, I wonder if some of these people are using some type of “bot” like the people using virtual worlds, because a lot of these tweets remind me of spam. Like when someone gets a virus and it sends out some link with some explanation and an exclamation point.
What I find confusing is if you click on someone’s name or the @something, it takes you to a whole new conversation. This website confuses the hell out of me. I don’t think I could handle all of it.
- Mood:
rushed - Music:Anberlin
